So where should I take a girl on a first date that will impress her enough that she will continue to want to go out with me?
- Bowling: The best thing about bowling is that it is competitive and yet at the same time it is perfectly acceptable if you are no good at it. It can be fun if both of us are really good; if neither one of us is any good; or if one of us is way better than the other. Tutoring is also a great opportunity for flirting. Also, for some reason there is no better place in the world to get french fries than from a bowling alley.
- Make your own pottery: Our town does have a few of these places where you can go pick out your own clay vase or plate; paint it and then they will fire it for you. The great thing about this idea is that while we are painting the pottery we can talk and get to know each other better. Also, it is a guaranteed second date because we have to go back to the store to pick up the pottery when it's done. It is a fiendishly clever idea.
- Museum: We could go to the local art museum. That doesn't cost a whole lot of money. The problem is that I don't know all that much about art and I'm not sure if she does either. The most that I could add to the conversation about a painting is, "that's pretty I like it."
- Movie: A movie is kind of the cowards way out. Two hours of sitting in the dark and not talking is a way to technically spend time together but we aren't actually doing anything. Just the fact that we are sitting side by side doesn't necessarily make it a date. I sit next to a lot of people at school and it doesn't mean that I'm dating them. Besides movies are super expensive and while bowling alley fries are awesome there is no scarier place (other than a convenience store) to get a hot dog than a movie theater. I think maybe we'll pass on the movie and save that for a future date when I'm not trying nearly so hard to impress her.
- Hiking: I have only a few simple principles in my life. One is that I only run if I am being chased (or chasing after someone) or if there is a ball involved. This same principle applies to jogging, hiking or walking. I could fake it for a couple of weeks and make her think that I just loved walking through nature but that wouldn't be the truth. The truth is I believe that nature is experienced best from the air-conditioned side of a car window. Additionally, I don't want to be all hot and sweaty on our first date.
- Roller/Inline Skating: This is an exception to the "I don't walk, hike, or jog rule" because there are wheels. Wheels make it fun and cool. Not to mention that it involves a lot less output of energy on my part.
- Bike Riding: Because of the wheels the bike falls into the same category as roller skating. With both we can be outside and I am not violating my stance against walking, hiking or jogging. They are both fine compromises if she is an outdoor type of person.
- Miniature Golf: Much like bowling, miniature golf is another activity in which we can feign an appropriate level of competitiveness while still keeping it friendly. It is hard to either take credit for hitting a hole-in-one by getting the ball through the windmill or get too mad if it takes 17 strokes to get the ball in the hole. Miniature golf is simply fun. Also they have the best corn dogs at miniature golf courses.
- Batting Cage: This might be too competitive. There is no way that I am going to be able to get into the cage without wanting to crush the ball every time. My focus will definitely be on hitting the ball and not on the date.
- The Zoo: I like the zoo but I'm not sure how much she likes animals. I'll have to ask her before I plan a date to the zoo. People who like the zoo fit into a specific sector on a range between those who think it smells bad and is disgusting and those who think that the animals are being mistreated and its disgusting. The same applies for the circus. Ironically, aquariums seem to be OK with everyone. They don't smell and no one seems to be overly concerned about how the fish are treated behind the glass.
- The Mall: Two problems with the mall. I don't have a ton of money and all of our friends are guaranteed to be at the mall and see us there together. That is probably too much attention and therefore too much pressure for a first date.
- Go-Carting: I'm just way to competitive for this activity. I'm not sure It would bode well for a second date if I slammed her into the wall as we were making a turn. Paint-ball would be bad for the same reason. Standing over her shouting, "you're dead" does not make for second date material.
- Ice Cream: "I scream, you scream we all scream for ice." Who doesn't like ice cream. Frozen yogurt is also an acceptable alternative.
- Volunteering: Who am I kidding? I don't want to do that.
Since I neither have the money nor do I believe that either one of our parents would allow me to fly her off to Paris for dinner or some other extravagant escapade I believe that all of the ideas I had a pretty good dates. I think, however, that I'm going to go with the bowling. I really like french fries.